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What is love? I want love!

I want to experience love
At-least once in my lifetime.
I’ve hurt myself a lot wanting to find love.
I called it my cycle of breaking and making
I cried for every single one of them.
And proudly said-
They made me ‘Rocky’.

I’m tired of my games;
I thought I enjoyed their games
And let them win ( My own delusion)
I’ve no clue if i ever loved any of them.
I’m tired.

I want something else now
Where it’s not a temporary bandaid
Or a cure or any means of healing.
Or a source of creative inspiration
Or a person to compete and motivate
Without any sort of transaction.

Would such love ever happen
I want to know what love is!
Such kind of love where
I wouldn’t have to blame myself for loving too much.
Without thinking it’s all trauma response.

Not sure if love is my sickness
Or cure to other sicknesses.

I want to experience love, I’m curious,
Just like how i have always been about death.

Rocky April 2023

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