Shaping Our Lives Through the Stories We Tell Ourselves

The stories we tell ourselves, largely define our lives. They can shape our perceptions, mold our actions, and set our course. Often, these narratives are woven from threads of past experiences, expectations we believe that others hold for us, and the pressures we place upon ourselves. However, they can limit our potential and imprison us in an echo chamber of past traumas and fears.

Setting Ourselves Free From Past Experiences

Every experience  leaves an imprint on us. Traumatic or painful past experiences can cast long shadows, influencing our behaviour and perceptions of future events. However, it’s crucial to understand that we are not our past experiences. To set ourselves free, we need to rewrite these narratives, using them not as anchors holding us back, but as stepping stones towards growth. Therapeutic practices like cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness meditation, and narrative therapy can be beneficial in this process as can mirrored therapy with a network of growth mindet individuals.

Beyond Others’ Expectations

It’s natural to be influenced by the expectations and opinions of others, especially those close to us. However, when we let others’ expectations dictate our lives, we risk losing our authentic selves. Begin to set yourself free by identifying your own values, passions, and dreams, separate from the influence of others. When we align our actions with our personal values instead of trying to fit into someone else’s mold, we find inner peace and authenticity.

Here’s a list of personal values. For each, score yourself out of 10 on how much you value it and again for how present it is in your day to day life.

1. Honesty: The degree to which you are truthful and transparent in your interactions and relationships.
2. Integrity: How consistently you act in line with your principles, regardless of who’s watching.
3. Resilience: Your capacity to cope with change and recover quickly from difficulties.
4. Compassion: The extent to which you show understanding and kindness in dealing with others.
5. Respect: How much you honor others’ rights, feelings, wishes, and traditions.
6. Responsibility: Your readiness to take charge and make decisions.
7. Courage: Your willingness to face fear, uncertainty, and intimidation.
8. Humility: The level to which you maintain a modest view of your own importance.
9. Generosity: How freely you give and share, whether it be time, resources, or talents.
10. Persistence: Your determination to continue trying despite facing challenges.
11. Creativity: Your ability to generate new and innovative ideas or solutions.
12. Open-mindedness: Your willingness to consider new ideas or differing points of view.
13. Gratitude: How often you recognize and appreciate the good in your life.
14. Mindfulness: Your ability to be fully present and engaged in the current moment.
15. Patience: Your ability to stay calm in the face of delay or frustration.
16. Adaptability: Your capacity to adjust and thrive in changing conditions.
17. Loyalty: Your commitment to stand by the people or principles you believe in.
18. Ambition: Your desire for achievement and willingness to strive for it.
19. Curiosity: Your eagerness to explore, learn, and seek understanding.
20. Positivity: Your ability to maintain an optimistic and hopeful attitude, despite challenges.

Remember, there’s no right or wrong with these values. They are personal and unique to each individual. This exercise can be a helpful way to reflect on your own values and how they manifest in your daily life.

Living in the Moment

Mindfulness is the art of being completely present and engaged in the current moment. It allows us to experience life more fully, free from the anxiety of the past or the future. To start being more present, try practices like meditation, yoga, or mindful walking. These practices train your mind to focus on the here and now, freeing you from the constraints of past narratives and future worries.

Creating Positive Futures

As we free ourselves from past experiences and others’ expectations, we can start shaping our future with intention. Begin by setting clear, meaningful goals that align with your values. Visualise your desired future, but be careful not to let your happiness depend solely on these future aspirations. Remember, the future starts now, with each decision and action you take.

Breaking My Addictions Summary

The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They can confine us, or they can set us free. By releasing the hold of past experiences and expectations, living fully in the present, and setting a course for a positive future, we can rewrite these narratives. We can shape our lives into beautiful stories of growth, authenticity, and fulfillment. Our lives are the canvas, and we hold the brush. Let’s paint a masterpiece.