Human communication, in all its richness and complexity, can be boiled down to patterns and behaviours acquired early in life. Our families, caregivers, peers, and environments play a pivotal role in how we first learn to convey our thoughts, feelings, and needs.
From a child’s earliest cry to their first words, we learn not only what to communicate but how. This ‘how’ is a combination of tones, facial expressions, body language, and even the timing of our responses. Over time, these learned behaviours form the bedrock of our communicative style as adults.
The Impact of Early Learned Behaviours
These initial lessons can be both empowering and limiting. For instance:
- Positive Reinforcements: A child praised for expressing their feelings might grow into an adult comfortable with sharing emotions.
- Avoidance and Suppression: A child reprimanded for speaking up may learn to suppress their voice, leading to potential communication barriers in adulthood.
The effects of these early learned behaviours echo throughout our lives, influencing personal relationships, career growth, and our overall worldview.
Shaping Our World Through Communication
How we communicate doesn’t just determine our interpersonal dynamics; it actively shapes our world. Our interactions serve as a feedback loop: the world responds to the signals we send out, further reinforcing our beliefs and behaviours. For instance, someone who has learned to communicate assertively might receive positive reinforcement in professional settings, reinforcing this behaviour. In contrast, someone who avoids confrontation might find themselves continually overlooked, which can reaffirm feelings of invisibility.
The Power of Relearning Communication
Recognising that our communicative styles are learned behaviours means we have the power to unlearn and relearn. By adapting our communication, we can influence our relationships and the world’s response to us. Here’s how:
- Self-awareness: Reflect on your communication style.
- Recognise patterns that serve you and those that don’t.
Education and Training: - Engage in communication workshops or read books that offer insights into effective communication.
- Practice Active Listening: Sometimes, effective communication is less about talking and more about listening. This can reshape interactions, fostering understanding and empathy.
- Seek Feedback: Ask trusted friends or colleagues about your communication style and areas for improvement.
- Challenge Old Beliefs: Tackle underlying beliefs that might be hampering effective communication. For instance, the belief that “I won’t be heard” can be reframed to “I have a right to express and be understood.”
Breaking My Addictions Summary and Conclusion
Communication is a dynamic interplay of behaviours we’ve picked up over our formative years. While these patterns have shaped our interactions and worldviews, the malleability of human behaviour offers hope. By recognising and relearning effective communication strategies, we can positively influence our relationships and how the world interacts with us. This journey of change starts with the acknowledgment that our communication style, like all behaviours, can evolve, grow, and improve. The key lies in conscious effort, continual learning, and a willingness to adapt.
