Delayed gratification refers to the act of postponing immediate pleasure or reward for a greater future benefit. In the book “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris, delayed gratification is presented as a powerful tool for achieving long-term goals and increasing overall life satisfaction.

ACT therapy, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is a psychological approach that emphasises the importance of accepting negative thoughts and emotions, and taking action towards one’s values and goals despite these obstacles. The principles of ACT can be applied to help resist temptation and stay focused on long-term goals.

The acronym OBSERVE can be a useful tool in applying ACT principles to resist temptation. OBSERVE stands for:

• O: Open up: Open up to the temptation and acknowledge its presence. Recognise that the temptation is not a sign of weakness, but a normal human experience.
• B: Breathe: Take a deep breath and become aware of your thoughts and feelings. Notice any physical sensations in your body.
• S: Step back: Step back from the temptation and observe it from a different perspective. Ask yourself if giving in to the temptation is consistent with your core values and long-term goals.
• E: Explore: Explore alternative actions that are consistent with your values and goals. Consider the potential benefits of delaying gratification and staying focused on your long-term vision.
• R: Respond mindfully: Respond to the temptation mindfully, with intention and purpose. Choose to act in a way that is aligned with your values and goals, even if it requires some discomfort or sacrifice in the short-term.

By using OBSERVE, you can build mindfulness and self-awareness, which can help you resist temptation and stay focused on your long-term goals. Remember that resisting temptation is not about denying yourself pleasure or avoiding discomfort, but about choosing actions that align with your core values and lead to greater long-term satisfaction.

Here’s an example of someone using the OBSERVE acronym to resist the urge to eat something that is not good for them:

O: Open up – The person notices the urge to eat a sugary snack when they see some cookies on the kitchen counter.

B: Breathe – They take a deep breath and become aware of the thoughts and feelings that are arising. They notice the physical sensation of hunger and the thought, “Those cookies look so good.”

S: Step back – They step back from the urge and observe it from a different perspective. They ask themselves if giving in to the urge is consistent with their core values and long-term goals. They remind themselves that they have been trying to eat healthier and take care of their body.

E: Explore – They explore alternative actions that are consistent with their values and goals. They consider having a piece of fruit or a handful of nuts instead of the cookies.

R: Respond mindfully – They choose to respond mindfully to the urge by taking a few more deep breaths and focusing on their values and goals. They choose to have a piece of fruit instead of the cookies and feel good about their decision to honor their values and take care of their body.

Training the Brain to Enjoy The Wait

When we practice delayed gratification, we are essentially rewiring our brains to prioritise long-term goals over short-term pleasures. The brain is incredibly plastic, which means that it has the ability to change and adapt in response to our experiences and behaviors. When we consistently choose to delay gratification, we are strengthening the neural pathways that support this behavior, and weakening the pathways that lead to impulsive and immediate rewards. Over time, this makes delayed gratification a more natural and automatic response, rather than a difficult and conscious choice. In other words, our brains become more efficient at resisting temptation and focusing on long-term goals, which can lead to greater success and happiness in life.

Here’s an example of someone using the OBSERVE acronym to resist the urge to smoke:

O: Open up – The person notices the urge to smoke when they see someone else smoking.

B: Breathe – They take a deep breath and become aware of the thoughts and feelings that are arising. They notice the physical sensation of tension in their chest and the thought, “I really want a cigarette.”

S: Step back – They step back from the urge and observe it from a different perspective. They ask themselves if giving in to the urge is consistent with their core values and long-term goals. They remind themselves that they quit smoking because they value their health and want to live a long, healthy life.

E: Explore – They explore alternative actions that are consistent with their values and goals. They consider going for a walk or practicing a relaxation technique instead of smoking.

R: Respond mindfully – They choose to respond mindfully to the urge by taking a few more deep breaths and focusing on their values and goals. They choose not to give in to the urge and instead, they go for a walk around the block.

In addition to using OBSERVE, there are other strategies that can be helpful in resisting temptation and practicing delayed gratification.

One strategy is to set clear goals and develop a plan for achieving them. When you have a clear sense of your values and goals, it becomes easier to make choices that align with them, even in the face of temptation.

Another strategy is to develop a support system. Surrounding yourself with people who share your values and goals can be incredibly helpful in staying focused and resisting temptation. Whether it’s a workout buddy, a study group, or a mentor, having people in your life who support your efforts to delay gratification can make a big difference.

Re-Evaluating Gratification: Prioritising True Happiness over Immediate Pleasure”

While delayed gratification is an important skill for achieving long-term goals, it’s important to remember that not all pleasures are worth delaying, Some are best sacked off entirely. We could do well to re-evaluate our definition of gratification and ask ourselves if a particular activity or choice will truly bring us happiness. If the answer is no, then we have the power to refuse it on the grounds that there will be no real gratification there. This should bring us more short and long term happiness.

What Really is Gratifying to us?

Re-evaluating gratification involves tuning in to our internal values and desires, and recognising that some pleasures are fleeting and ultimately unsatisfying. By taking the time to reflect on our choices and motivations, we can develop a deeper sense of self-awareness and make decisions that align with our true values and goals. This may involve saying no to certain activities or indulgences, even if they offer immediate pleasure or gratification, in order to prioritise our long-term happiness and well-being.

Who Doesn’t Want True Happiness?

Ultimately, re-evaluating gratification is about recognising that true happiness comes from living a life that is aligned with our values and goals, rather than simply seeking out immediate pleasures or distractions. By prioritising our internal sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, we can make choices that lead to greater overall life satisfaction, and experience deeper and more meaningful forms of gratification.

Enjoy the Ride

Finally, it’s important to practice self-compassion. Resisting temptation can be difficult, and it’s easy to become discouraged or critical of yourself when you fall short. By practicing self-compassion, you can be kind and understanding to yourself, even when you make mistakes. Remember that delayed gratification is a skill that takes practice, and it’s okay to slip up sometimes. Delayed gratification is a powerful tool for achieving long-term goals and increasing overall life satisfaction. By using ACT principles, such as the OBSERVE acronym, setting clear goals, developing a support system, and practicing self-compassion, you can resist temptation and make choices that align with your values and goals. With practice and persistence, delayed gratification can become a habit that leads to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.