Victimhood can often feel like a snare—a trap that tightens its grip the more we struggle. When we see ourselves as victims, we give external circumstances the power to define our experience and shape our reality. We become entangled in a narrative of helplessness, focusing on what’s being done to us rather than what we can do.
Control Becomes Wings
On the other hand, control can be our wings, lifting us above the circumstances that try to pull us down. Control isn’t about denying the existence of challenges or pretending we’re unaffected by life’s trials. Instead, it’s about owning our ability to respond to these trials in a way that aligns with our values, goals, and wellbeing.
Finding Balance
It’s important to note that this quote doesn’t advocate an extreme view where we must take responsibility for everything that happens to us. Instead, it invites us to a nuanced perspective where we recognise what’s beyond our control—the actions of others, the inevitabilities of life—and focus on what’s within our control—our reactions, our mindset, our actions.
Unfurling Your Wings
Shifting from a victim mentality to a mindset of control often requires a journey of self-discovery and growth. It involves unlearning old patterns of thinking, building emotional resilience, cultivating a positive mindset, and developing effective coping strategies. As you embark on this journey, remember that like a bird learning to fly, there may be stumbles and falls, but every attempt brings you closer to soaring.
Here’s a quick 10-question self-reflection quiz to help gauge your outlook
- When things go wrong, is your first instinct to blame others or external factors?
- A. Often
- B. Sometimes
- C. Rarely
- D. Never
- Do you often feel powerless in the face of challenges?
- A. Often
- B. Sometimes
- C. Rarely
- D. Never
- Do you frequently find yourself dwelling on past negative experiences?
- A. Often
- B. Sometimes
- C. Rarely
- D. Never
- Do you feel like bad things just “happen” to you more than others?
- A. Often
- B. Sometimes
- C. Rarely
- D. Never
- Do you struggle to identify things you have control over when faced with difficulties?
- A. Often
- B. Sometimes
- C. Rarely
- D. Never
- Do you believe you can change your circumstances by changing your attitude or actions?
- A. Never
- B. Rarely
- C. Sometimes
- D. Often
- Do you take proactive steps to improve your situation when faced with a challenge?
- A. Never
- B. Rarely
- C. Sometimes
- D. Often
- Do you view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning?
- A. Never
- B. Rarely
- C. Sometimes
- D. Often
- Do you feel capable and confident in your ability to handle life’s ups and downs?
- A. Never
- B. Rarely
- C. Sometimes
- D. Often
- Do you practice self-compassion and give yourself credit for the steps you take, no matter how small, towards overcoming obstacles?
- A. Never
- B. Rarely
- C. Sometimes
- D. Often
Scoring:
- For questions 1 to 5: A=3, B=2, C=1, D=0
- For questions 6 to 10: D=3, C=2, B=1, A=0
The higher your score, the more likely you are to exhibit a victim mentality. However, remember that self-awareness is the first step towards change. If your score suggests a victim mentality, don’t despair. It’s never too late to shift your perspective and take back control.
Breaking My Addictions Summary
The quote of the day, “Victimhood is a snare, but control is a set of wings,” serves as a powerful reminder of our ability to transcend our circumstances. It invites us to escape the snare of victimhood and unfurl our wings of control. This shift in perspective doesn’t deny the existence of life’s challenges but empowers us to respond to them in ways that affirm our power, potential, and agency. Today, remember that you are not a passive recipient of life’s circumstances. You are an active participant, capable of change, growth, and flight.
